A Leg to Stand On
by rizzlescalzonafic
Summary: Set as Arizona wakes up from her emergency amputation. Currently only a one-shot but really contemplating fleshing this out. Let me know


_Promise. A declaration assuring that one will or will not do; a vow._

Callie Torres sat silently next to the hospital bed. She'd barely moved since she sat down hours before. Deep, steady breathing was all that she could do. Anything else would take too much effort. Thinking was out of the question because if she thought then she'd crack. And she couldn't crack.

Promise, promise me, you won't let them take my leg.

No, she couldn't think and cracking wasn't an option. She now had to be the strong man in the storm. Because Arizona couldn't. Because... Because a plane had fallen out of the sky. Planes don't fall out of the sky. They just don't do that.

But a plane did. And now she was sitting her watching her wife's face twitch as she struggled out of the sedation. And she should be happy that Arizona was stable for the first time in weeks. That she was alive and she'd be able to see those beautiful eyes again.

_Promise, promise me, you won't let them take my leg._

But she wasn't happy. She felt guilt. She was an orthopedic surgeon. She broke bones and yes sometimes she amputated. That's what she did. And she never felt guilty about. To her it was black and white. She could either save the limb or she could save the life.

But now it was a million shades of gray. And it was muddled. And she felt like panicking. But Callie Torres didn't panic. Not over a limb that needed to be removed to save a life.

The hand in hers twitched.

Everything was gray because she amputated sending yet another limb off to medical waste. She couldn't even begin to count the number of body parts that she'd sent off to medical waste.

Bile rose in her throat and she forced it down bitterly. It wasn't just a limb. It was her wife's left leg. The leg that she had promised her she wouldn't amputate was now a pile of ash somewhere.

She never promises a patient that she won't take a limb when she knows there is a very real chance that she will. But she did and now that limb was gone and Arizona was waking up and Callie couldn't breathe.

She tried to remember what she told the family of her patients when they asked what to do when they woke up? How would they react?

So she would tell them to calmly reassure them that they were safe. The patient would be in pain and probably be in shock. Some would react with dispair, some with anger. She'd taken lims from patients whod suffered through so much pain, rehab and surgeries that one day they had woken up and knew that the limb had to go, They did much better usually. They would often name their offending appendage and throw a pre-op party for it. Some sick, tragic yet perfect funeral to their past struggle. When they woke up they usually felt a sense of relief knowing they were free of the piece that was holding them back from moving on. So those patients often thanked her with gratitude and rebuilt their lives quickly. And she'd taken limbs from patients that never knew what hit them. They often had the hardest time. Their minds being unable to process that they'd woken up one morning with perfectly function limbs and then in the space where an arm or leg had been was just nothing... A white hospital bed sheet. The mind often can't comprehend what the eyes are telling them.

_Promise, promise me, you won't let them take my leg._

Those patients blamed anyone and everyone that came within striking distance. They were mad because someone had gone and taken a perfectly good limb and turned it to ash.

And they blamed her, got angry at her. Often times through things at her. Yelled and cussed her. She'd guide them through it. Coach the families. Reassure them that there was no other option. There was no other choice.

She swallowed back the bile. She was an orthopedic surgeon, she saved lives, and she was the best at what she did even if it meant taking a limb instead of saving it.

Her wife's eyes were opening, the baby blues barely peaking out between long lashes.

And everything was gray because a plane fell from the sky.


End file.
